Purpose

Life. Sucks. Almost nothing has gotten any better. All my friends' lives are getting better and better, but mine?...... still fucking sucks. I'm so happy that you're all teddy bears and unicorns now, really. But honestly, I'm about twenty seconds away from self mutilation, but I'm too scared it will hurt and then I will just have gross scars for the rest of my life. Fuck.

I recently read this book, "Thirteen Reasons Why", about this girl who kills herself and records tapes and sends them to the thirteen people who drove her to kill herself. This excellent novel (which I highly recommend), made me think of my thirteen reasons, which also lead me to think, are they valid enough yet? Not really, but everyday, they seem to be getting more and more clear.

It's not like I'm planning to kill myself, that's not me... I'm just seeing no light at the end of the tunnel, I'm not seeing the worth in getting up in the morning, and I'm not seeing anything involving me improving.

Like today, in English class, I know it means nothing, but, there were some things said that I knew were meant as jokes, but I took one of them extremely seriously...

Do you have a purpose? Can you describe it in thirty words or less? Can someone else?

...No, No, and........ no.

Whatever.