Downfalls

I will probably get no sleep tonight. That's okay. I will probably get no homework done. That's okay. I probably won't eat today. That's okay. I probably will smile only a few times today. I will cry over him today. That's not okay.
Much, much, much, much has happened since I last posted in November. Do I regret anything that's happened? No, not at all. Do I regret how it ended (meaning how I let it end)? You betcha sweet ass I do. I accomplished a lot in a short period of time. I was surprised with my success and the speediness of my life. I mean, honestly, I was asked to a dance, had a "boyfriend", felt good about life, and put trust into somebody. All these different things had there own downfall.
To begin:
1) The dance was kind of the begining of it all, the start of the drifting where I could feel him lose interest, and it's kind of like a bad car crash, you really want to look away, but you really can't. Believe me, I had the best time of my life at this dance, I felt like I belonged with his friends, but I felt that he didn't want me there.
2)I thought we were together, I was so completely wrong. So, so, so, wrong. I later figured out that he may have told a few lies just to please me. Which is okay, I guess, people lie.
3)I still feel okay about life, I'm not having the desire to die any time soon. But I feel that the quality of my life is so terrible now. He has a new guy that has already given him a hickey the size of a small celestial body. It just pisses me off and makes me feel so useless and unloved that someone could treat me that way and treat someone else the same way within weeks of each other.
4)It took me quite some time to put trust in to this guy. I don't think I will be able to trust someone so easily again. I really would be okay if I didn't have to trust anyone new again.

These were the downfalls, now, according to my best friend Newton, what goes up, must come down. But what about shit going down? Does that come back up?

See how much tension I have? Too much... Oh well, I'll be okay, this helped. But FUCK, I need to get laid.